無題

夢見一個帶著吉他的白皙的美麗的少年，我們從一間鄉下小屋逃了出來，那裡有一個爸爸和兩個小兄弟要砍殺我們。跳上摩托車我們尋找從桃園回到台北的路。我騎車，他負責判斷方向，但是他卻錯地一蹋糊塗。在一條關鍵的岔路我看見舅媽牽著外婆走在路邊，她們給我指路。

後來，身後的男孩累了，很累很累，於是靠在我身後睡著了。（2010.5.15）

「你和我懷著莫名對人的眷戀，如積木般堆積負載著向前。」

你說，「歡迎來到這個世界。」一個月內你總有二十多天都如此感情濃烈。

「好折磨人，」我說。

一定很想找地方宣洩吧。於是你總赤裸裸地寫下在所有你喜歡的人跟前展開，可就怕嚇著人家。於是你後來選擇當了藝術家？讓感情緩而不斷地流進創作，等著哪天浪花打來，他們終將明白。##ReadMore##

我還是不太會下俐落的標題。標題這句話是在網路上不經意看到有人翻譯Mr. Children的Sign，想到這幾天發生的事，以及那天電話裡講的。但耳朵一直反覆在聽的其實是The XX的Basic Space：

It's a pool of boiling wax I'm getting in
Let it set
Got to seal this in
Can't adjust, can't relearn
Got to keep what I have, preserve
　　　我正在跳入的是一池滾燙的融蠟
　　　就讓它將我定著
　　　我要把回憶彌封
　　　不讓它變形，也不重新來過
　　　我要留著我所擁有的，珍藏

（不過有人說歌詞其實寫的是sex，anyway......）

Sentimental Kills

To You, 

I feel like to write you an email, hope you don't mind. It is really good not only to hear from you but to meet you. I always remember "じんせいはいちごいちえです." I think you taught me that, and when I recited it to Y, she cried and hugged me. ##ReadMore##

It is always weird to see someone you have met long time ago, and find he/she has changed though, you could still easily recognize him/her. Coz you have to know this person to some extent, but have lost him/her at the same time. That's how I feel about you. In one way you seem different from before coz you have set your life goal and focus on it, but in the other you are still naughty as before. You are naughty in a harmless way, not aggressive, but meanwhile remain sincere, and I think that's why I liked you, coz you can always make me laugh. 

I took out my journal of that time and read it when I arrived home. I did not write much, but I am kind of trapped in the memory and couldn't focus on my thesis writing for two days - which is very annoying. It seems a little bit silly to write you the short 手紙 at that time（笑）, but I am glad I did coz at least I was upfront about my feelings. But I have to say sorry if it had ever bothered or hurt you. 

You know what, it is funny that when I thought I have forgot everything but in fact I haven't. I read the journal, and things become vivid, much vivider than I expect.

It's really awesome to see you and to know you are 元気. 
Take care and stay cool. : )

Love